Candida Hofer - Libraries (published 2005)
LIBRARIES! LIBRARIES EVERYWHERE?!
if you’re about to die, might as well try.
he puts his hands up like he’s pleading and catches the guy completely off guard. i mean. he’s got a gun. guy’s on his knees. he feels totally safe and in control of the situation. then the guys hands are right next to the gun and he surprises him and immediately tilts the weapon up and away from him and yanks the arm down while thrusting his legs forward to kneecap the guy and manages to wrench the gun away
so shit now the second guy is on the ground with probably a broken knee and no gun and the first guy has the weapon and is fucking free and clear remember this me you need to remember this
so after the mtv ema’s, i snuck into a 21+ afterparty hosted by snoop dogg in an amsterdam nightclub, right? well. i made it to the front of the crowd. i was this close to snoop dogg. he passed me a joint. it was amazing.
then i decided it wasn’t enough. you see, snoop was on this platform seperated from the rest of the club. on this platform was a lot of leather couches and hot people with drinks. so i went to the side of the club and pretended my friend was on the platform. the giant 7 feet tall guard miraculously let me through and i was in the vip section with snoop dogg
i was literally the only one there who wasn’t on the guest list. i had some boy pour me drinks (which turned out to be PURE VODKA) and it took me an hour of socializing with strippers and models to figure out that everyone’s alcohol WAS ON TABS and that since i wasnt on the vip list I DIDN’T HAVE A TAB
i left and then i realized i stole snoop dogg’s alcohol
this has been my story
ah yes finally((I’ve never reblogged something so fast))
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Done and done
You know what, that works for me!
Did this in september 2013.
I decide to make more in the December holidays.
i wrote a poem
I almost scrolled past this but it’s actually really fucking deep…
this is my favorite goofy pun ever, I have told it at least five times
I don’t care, fuck you
as you all know, saint patrick walked barefoot as an act of contrition, which made his feet rugged and blistered. he ate an ascetic’s diet, which made him weak and additionally gave him bad breath.
all of this made him
a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
oh my god
theyve started selling lucky charms at tescos and ive never had any american cereal before and it has little tiny marshmallows in it and im haivng heart palpitations this is so sugary my body isnt used to this ive been living off cornflaeks for the last 16 years why are there marshmallows in my cereal who came up with this idea i feel like a bag of sugar just jizzed in my veins there are sweets in my fucking cereal is that even legal im so confused
age is just a number, we are always young and full of adventure